Vive La Grumpy Difference

When my mother in law Clarabel visited Scotland back in 2002, I asked what, for her, were the most notable differences between Scotland and the US.  She said the greenness of the landscape, and the fact that the people who work at check-out counters in supermarkets are allowed to sit down whilst they work. 

The greenness I expected, the other certainly surprised me.  It sure is interesting the things individuals find entertaining or objectionable when visiting other countries.  And of course the older you get, the grumpier your outlook.  So be warned as you read on...

When we retired and left Scotland to travel across the USA in our 5^th wheel trailer, my American husband Richard was looking forward to no longer having to negotiate traffic circles.  In the UK, roundabouts, as they are called, have taken the place of traffic lights pretty much everywhere, as they seem to keep traffic flowing much more effectively.  Paradoxically, some roundabouts are so large that during rush hour, they also have stop lights to control traffic flow. 

The strange thing is, now that Richard is back home, he says he would like to have a few more traffic circles. There seem to be so many more stop lights than he remembers!

I, on the other hand, have had to get used to the strange and overly polite rules of four way stops.  This is a crossroad without lights, where first arrival means right of way.  So you check to see who arrived before you and take your turn to move on after they have.  But even more frustrating is the requirement to come to a total halt at every stop sign, even when it is obvious that there is no oncoming traffic.

Having now spent a year in the USA, travelling through the southern mid west, here are a few more observations of things that have surprised and sometimes flummoxed me.

Calls of Nature

It doesn’t matter where you go – the smallest store, the largest supermarket or tiniest café or gas station in the middle of nowhere, restrooms are de rigueur.  No strange glances as I walk into a shop and ask directions to their toilet facilities.  No enquiring glances to check whether I have any shopping basket filled with store goods, as a prerequisite to using their waterworks.  Even National and State Parks have ample facilities near parking and rest areas, and even though they are just bio-friendly holes in the ground, they are better maintained than those I have come across elsewhere in the world.  My weak bladder thanks you over and over again.

I have just one question, whilst the enormous size of the toilet bowl is obviously made for the fuller figure, how come the doors are sometimes so close to the bowl that even a reasonably thin person like me has to squeeze round it to get into the stall?

Trespass

Whilst following what we thought was a means of access to a popular walking path on the outskirts of Salida, CO, I was confronted by a child of about 6 on an old bike with training wheels on it, who rode over from a grotty looking house some 50 yards away, surrounded by junk,  and  told us most belligerently that we were trespassing.  There were no signs that we could see to indicate we were on private property, so I guess we could be forgiven, but it was those words coming out of the mouth of a babe that astonished me. Land ownership seems to be viewed differently here.  I suppose in crowded Europe, where two thousand years of feudal system wiped out any hopes of land ownership for the common person, (with the Church and the Aristocracy dividing up the spoils of the earth), the modern concept of land ownership is limited to maintaining on average less of an acre of yard and garden surrounding your mortgaged house.  However, access to the countryside for pleasure is generally unrestricted, with old train tracks and canal paths being converted for easy walking in cities, and bridle paths allowing the crossing of farmland, with the understanding that the flora and fauna are respected, as is all obviously private property.

It is different in the US, where trees are often decorated with signs, or even painted with colored circles to show the public they are on private property and that they are trespassing.  I guess that with land ownership being the enticement for invaders and pioneers, having claimed one’s stake, there is almost an obsession about keeping it inaccessible by anyone else.

Guns

I suppose we were lucky that child did not have a shotgun with him.  OK ok, that is an exaggeration. I am sure there are laws that govern whether and where children can carry guns.  But children can certainly learn to handle and clean guns and fire them under adult supervision.  Since arriving in this part of the world, which is on the whole still wilderness, and where wildlife can often be destructive to property and even dangerous to humans, I can appreciate guns have their place.  But I still have difficulty in understanding the ability for some to have guns that can shoot bullets at an extraordinary rate, or the requirement for a large private arsenal.  Being able to carry guns (whether openly or concealed) is such an alien notion to me; I can’t really figure out the difference between safety and the threat of violence, or the right to defend oneself.  I guess the gun laws will continue to be a highly emotive topic individually and politically for a long time to come.

Health

Never before have I worried as much about my health.  I am not concerned so much about being healthy, but more anxious about the potential cost and the bureaucratic nightmare of any visit to a doctor.  

Having taken for granted the right to an easily accessible healthcare system in the UK - the NHS - contributed to by taxes taken straight from ones annual income, I am suddenly faced with a choice of health insurance policies that have small print a yard long to ensure you are aware of what you are not covered for.  Secondary insurance policies are sometimes taken out to help cover some of the costs the companies will not pay. 

Even then, not all medical practitioners accept all health insurance companies.  So you have to check first of all if the doctor you hope to visit will actually be able to be paid by your insurance company. There are phone calls, forms and disclaimers by the ream, for undergoing things as simple as an annual check up, (which is free for the over 60’s with our insurance company). However, any tests (bloods, ex-ray) that are recommended as a result of that initial visit may have to be paid for separately, as a co-pay (where the patient and the insurance company share the cost) with no idea of potential costs, or how much your health insurance company will contribute. 

The only positive thing about your visit is the customer service… A plethora of the politest administrators possible smilingly check your insurance details on arrival, another set takes your payment before you leave. Oh, and the doctor’s offices are very modern, and coffee is free.

Richard loved the NHS – straight in and out.  By the way, in Scotland, prescription drugs are free of charge.   Just saying…

Drugs

Nearly every other advert on the TV is for a pharmaceutical drug.  I find them quite funny.  They are often for the strangest of afflictions – like restless leg syndrome, or diabetic foot nerve pain, female dryness, erectile dysfunction… and because regulations require it, once the condition and benefits have been detailed, there follows a list of possible side-effects so long that you wonder why you would want to take the drug in the first place.

However, that final exhortation of “ask your doctor if this drug is suitable for you” rings in your ears so long, you do wonder why you should have to suffer twitching legs as you try to go to sleep.

Tipping

For some reason, waiters in the USA are paid extremely low wages, and tipping is the norm to ensure they have a living wage.  However, the Scot in me sometimes balks at having to pay between 10 and 20% on my bill which is the expected amount, for a service that isn't particularly demanding or skilled.  Food isn't any cheaper here than in Scotland, so are the restaurants actually making more profit?

Of course, I say this as a waitress in a previous life, who was trained in silver service to serve in a 4* restaurant, cooked at the table, deboned fish for customers, and was still only paid a basic wages, with the odd tip that was shared with chefs and other waiters. So maybe I'm just a bit petulant.

Still, as a retired old fart, grumpiness and petulance is officially allowed, right?